Wednesday, March 5, 2008


Today's blog is dedicated to parents.
I love my parents dearly and enjoy them in my life now more than ever. I cherish the time I am able to spend with them. My inlaws are equally important to me, and I had no idea what I was missing out on until they came into my life! As a parent myself, I only hope my children feel the same way for me.

I digress...

Isn't it amazing how you begin so small hanging onto life's thread by your parent's care...looking up to your parents with adoration as they appear to be super heros...then embarrassment...onto loathing...and then to appreciation...sealing it all by creating a tight friendship...then somehow it turns all around. Funny how it all goes full circle. In the end, it is your parents hanging onto life's thread with your care.

Someone once explained to me that once you hit 50, you start back downhill.
Each year you get one year younger. By the time you are in your 90's, you're a kid again. Gas comes out whenever, you mess your pants, have to wear a diaper, you can't hear(or pretend you can't hear!), you hit your terrible twos all over again, can't walk real well, and you even fall down sometimes! Don't think fingers are pointing at you specifically because it happens to EVERYONE!!! Trouble is, when you're old, it's not so easy to get back up with frail and tired bones. Bones which have seen time come and go. It's also not so easy to admit time has run on by you and you are old yourself! It must add insult to injury when your child is now telling you what to do because they know what is in your best interest.

In my soul, I have the desire to preserve the memories. I want to leave for my family, details of our lives and how they meshed together. Memories from people who have experienced things I will never understand! Such as life without antibiotics, times so tight a nickle was alot, no tv, to name a few. They have seen things I can't even imagine. Grandpa Red knows why they came up with the saying, "It's easier than sliced bread!" He worked in a bakery shop for many years before he became Assistant Postmaster. He remembers clearly the day his shop got a bread slicer! Grampy Deible helped his father in his wagon making shop to patent a wagon wheel long before he became a wonderful Salesman or built his own home with his bare hands. They both entered the war, that's World War 2 if you're wondering! Things you read about in your history books and can't even fathom!

Just today, the children were watching The Jetson's cartoon before they left for school. Michael happened to walk into the room and saw the Jetson's had a satelite dish, like direct tv's, mounted in their kitchen. This was from over 30 years ago...when the concept seemed so other worldly! Today we have this on our houses. I imagine it pretty much blows an older mind away to try and grasp digital photography and text messages!

But, just like when we were kids, our parents told us to shut those cartoons off and get ready for school! So, too, did Michael do to Jacob and Jayda! Some things never change.

Baby Jay is a fourth generation of living family members. This is quite rare! Unfortunately, I am on the edge of losing my last grandparent. Bringing my side of the family down to only three generations.

Today my mom and dad went back to Pennsylvania because my mother has to say good bye to her Dad. Grampy is fighting pneumonia. I guess fighting is not the word. He is submiting to pneumonia. He is peaceful, unresponsive, and pain free. What must his mind be doing? I imagine replaying pictures and memories in his mind. Traveling through years of memories both good and bad, he is preparing for what is to come next. I felt him here at the house yesterday. Paying us a visit here in Florida as he meanders through the people he loves in his mind. Perhaps it was my minds way of remembering him and the love I have for him. After all, being family is what connects us for all eternity.

At my age, I look back and think. Goodness, I really need to change that! And I make a plan for the next day to do just that! Or, better yet, I look back and see what I had to do alone for so many years and thank my lucky stars for a hero like Michael! What do you think when you are 90 and look back!?

When I see myself at 90, and look back over my shoulder while wearing the latest fad in depend undergarments, I see pretty pictures and colors and smiles and joys. But that is not real, 90 years is a long time! I know I will see heartache, pain, lost loved ones and friends, hurt, missed opportunities, challenges, and regrets mixed together with joy, exhilaration, happiness, pleasure, pride, and love. Yes, when I look back I want to see a mixture of many colors all coming together to create a beautiful picture of my life. So that when I am gone, and my children think of their parent, they will have a masterpiece they cherish. Better yet, books to read when they think they might forget.

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